Noah is down for a nap and Caraline is playing on the floor next to the computer...and I have time for a bit of an update on the Gogel family.
The family is adjusting to Zack's new work schedule. When he works the two and the three days straight, I am parenting alone. He needs all the sleep he can get and is no help with Caraline during the evening or at night. He comes home, eats, and usually falls asleep on the couch. I wake him when I'm ready to go to bed. He trots upstairs and falls asleep instantly. And by the third day the whole family is done! We all miss him!
Just yesterday Noah has expressed his "big brother" interest in Caraline. He wanted to rock with her in the nursery. And then wanted to hold her while I slowly rocked the chair. It was also a repeat this morning. He still occasionally raises his hand to try to hit her in jealously and we still of course can't trust him to be alone with her. But it's progress! Noah's post baby behavior has been slowly improving and we are seeing glimpses of his old self. His interest in holding his sister now is proof that he's making the adjustment...finally! He is still attending his PT Tots class and especially loves the parachute. We have play dates at least once a week with his friends....usually during the last day of Zack's working day.
Caraline is growing like crazy. She is eating every 2-3 hours during the day. More towards the 2 hour mark most of the time. She sleeps fairly well and most of the time wakes up 2-3 times at night to eat. She isn't always ready to go to bed when we are though. She has adjusted her fussy times and waking times to when Noah is asleep. She has figured out that she gets more attention during those times. I'm thankful for that so I can spend some one on one time with her. The past two days she has started to coo a bit and find her voice.
And now the portion about me. I am working on trying to find my balance with two kids and a husband at home. I am feeling a bit guilty about not giving each of them as much attention as I used to but it's an adjustment adding another person to the mix. And I'm getting there just like Noah. I am also feeling a bit of the baby blues. I spoke with my doctor because I just felt off..blah. Something wasn't right with my body. He put me on medicine to prevent the blues from becoming a depression. I debated on whether or not to post that info. The subject is hush hush..but I'm not ashamed. I know I'm not the only mom out there that realized after birth that they weren't all smiles and seeing rainbows! Zack's new work schedule has given me the freedom to go out with friends and have some time away from the house. And the time is much appreciated. I uses to be under this delusion that not having any me time made me a better mom..FALSE! I need that time more than ever now...and honestly so does the kids and Zack. They need alone time with their father to bond...they each probably need it just as much as the other. Moms have this habit of putting their needs last and it's taken me almost two years to start paying attention to some of my needs...and it has made me a better mom. I need time away from the house and my amazing husband understands...and pushes me out! No matter how hard we moms try to hide it we all struggle to find that balance within our family. I think it took me three months with Noah to find some balance between him, Zack, and the household stuff. Caraline is a bit over a month and I'm on track...just working on finding a balance with paying individual attention to each of them. That is the mommy truth I've just let you in on...told you some of the club secrets. Now don't any of you worry because this mom is not down and out. I'm still kicking and in no way hiding out on my couch all day in the dark! Remember I said, " a bit of the baby blues"! My tush is falling asleep along with my arm...as I'm sitting here rocking Caraline to sleep. And that's my cue to end this....over and out!
