Support the Troops?

Zack left on Saturday morning with duty the day before...so that will be four days tomorrow morning.  Only four days...and those four days seem like it's been a month!  We've been so busy that the time has flown by and it all seems a lifetime ago.  Zack is almost always sitting next to a computer and we are able to email back and forth all day.  It's so nice to be able to communicate the day's happenings to him and get feedback sometimes immediately.  The last email I've gotten from him was Saturday late morning...so almost four days ago.  No email for one day means he's been super busy and most likely read my emails but didn't have time to sit down and respond.  No email for two days means either the email has been shut down or it's down (as in broken).  The ship will turn off email if they don't want their location to be known, if the ship is doing something they don't want leaked out before the mission is over, or just for various other OPSEC reasons.  The Truman email would always get shut down when they would rescue Iranian fisherman.  There would be a blip about it on the news and then within a day or two the email would be back up again.  About into the second day the wives start to get a little anxious...what exactly is going on...is everything okay?  Late into the second day out I got an email stating the ship's email was down and had been for x amount of hours already.  They were working on fixing it and no one should worry.  Well, that was almost two days ago...and still nothing. 

I appreciate the email being sent out..the ship is fine...Zack is fine.  Do I buy that the email is broken and they are trying to fix it...maybe, sorta!  It just seems a little too convenient that the day they leave it suddenly goes down.  But I suppose it could be the truth.  But I will say that I am sure that it has forced the sailors to focus at the job at hand...no distractions from home.  And it has forced all of us to put on our big girl panties...no support coming from the ship now...we are doing it all alone.  Thankfully our lives have been pretty uneventful and I haven't needed to run something important by him.  And if I had then I would have just had to make the decision myself and Zack would have lived with and supported it.  I still find myself checking my email a zillion times a day.  I keep sending him emails just like normal.  Sometimes they are able to read what comes in but just not able to send them out...and then sometimes they can't get anything.  Hopefully it all comes back up soon.

This weekend a post has circulated on my news feed about the top ten things people don't know about military marriages.  Here is the link if you haven't read it: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/26/military-marriage-10-thin_n_1537543.html?ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false
I found it to be pretty accurate but honestly it just doesn't give the full view of what it means to be a military spouse.  I have often thought that a reality show following a selected few military wives of deployed husbands would be interesting to civilians.  After all those homecoming shows are very popular.  The joy of the Homecoming is a welcomed reality but the struggles during the deployment are better left under the rug.  However, I honestly don't know anyone that would actually be willing to participate in reality show filming their lives while their husbands are gone.  It goes against the culture (for the most part!).  We are here to support our husbands and it is a challenging life.  But those challenges are shared amongst ourselves.  Maybe that's why the lifestyle is so misunderstood.  We just get up in the morning and do it.  That's our lives...and it's what I signed up for.  Recently we in the mil world celebrated military spouse appreciate day...it's the Friday before Mother's Day.  And with most things lately...we celebrated it with an email!  I've spoken with a few ex-mil members turned mil spouses and the conses is that it's more difficult to say behind and take care of everything than to be deployed.  There are more things on the plate while staying behind...or so they said.  I haven't served so I can't state my opinion on the matter.  My dad served actively before going reserves in the late 70's and early 80's.  And he has said that during the period it was unpopular to be in the military.  Since 9/11 the civilian world has been on a campaign to let the mil world know they appreciate the service.  Zack for the most part will agree that he has felt the "love".  And maybe has never been met with hostility...at least while in the U.S.  Have I ever felt hostility...yes.  It doesn't make sense to me that the U.S. can be so supportive of the "troops" but yet I'm met with dirty looks, false generalizations, and stereotypes.  The "troops" are supported but their home lives are not.  Somehow it's my fault that people believe that mil marriages are a testament to the rising divorce rates, the rising debt, and whatever else they can pin on us.  I've read somewhere that the mil marriages have a lower divorce rate than the civilian world.  I'm supposed to an uneducated woman that married my husband at 18 and immediately started having babies, which drain the government.  I've also read somewhere that mil spouses are generally more educated.  Yes, I married young but often it's the position that we're put in.  It's beyond complicated to have a "normal" wedding.  I know quite a few people that got married through the mail or even over the Internet...not to mention many courthouse weddings.  We are looked down upon for that...but yet it's the mil members service that often causes us to through such extremes to get married.  With marriage in a committed relationship comes children.  No one bawks when a civilian marriage results in children...but yet my own children drain the government?  Yes, our paycheck comes from the government but you get the same amount of money if you are married with no children versus being married with five children.  Not sure how that rumor got started but it drives me crazy.  I've actually had more than one person mention this "extra" pay...you can afford that baby with that extra from the government.  Huh?!  Would you go up to anyone else and question them about affording a baby?  Just because we get our paycheck from the government (and so do P.O. workers and so many other jobs) then we can't live out our married life.  In my everyday life...whose needs are always met first...The Navy's.  That's what it means for Zack to serve...in OUR lives the Navy's needs are met first.  The whole thing is full of ironies.  So instead I take pleasure in the fact that Zack knows that he is appreciated and he appreciates me.  And really that's all the matters.  I'll take dirty looks any day all day long if that means that those same people would come up to Zack and shake his hand while saying, I appreciate your service.  Because whether they know it or not they are also recognizing the service that Noah, Caraline, and I do too!

Family Update

The kids are in bed and I'm on my new laptop watching HGTV. We are dadless for a while now and trying to get into our deployment groove. We've already had a busy Memorial Weekend with a birthday party, church, and just playing. Not sure what tomorrow will bring for us yet. We have another busy week ahead of us though with a train trip and birthday party!

Zack

Just a few days ago we got the results of the advancement test he took in March. And yes it takes them that long to put out the results to everyone! It was the second try for making First Class. For his rate, it had been very difficult to make First...and the chance of making it the first time were nil. The Navy advanced a lot of people this go around...things opened up a bit...and he made it by quite a lot. The results are supposed to come out right around June 1st...they are always a bit early though. The whole week before the results come out the rumors on the ship spread like crazy...the advancement results are out...no they aren’t....well, so and so said they were. And on and on! Finally the rumors all lined up to a specific date and time...and we both waited up separately to search through the list of AT's to find his name. Well I was on fb chatting and waiting with one of my neighbors...waiting to see if our hubby's made it! He is super excited to have made it! There are a lot of things going on right now on the ship...and everyone is stressing to get the work done. So this bit of good news was much needed for him. He is gone now and seems to be really busy. He left for a few days a two or so weeks ago and his comment was that he was working with a bunch of "idiots". His words not mine. He admits he doesn't have a lot of patience...and some of the guys were testing what little he had. Now that he made First he will be put in charge of a shop...and hopefully be able to run it his way...the Gogel way! LOL!

Noah

With Zack's crazy work schedule these past six months Noah hasn't really noticed that Zack has left. He understands so much more this go around than last summer. He knows that Zack is on the boat at work...on the water...and the airplanes fly off the ship. I showed him pictures of the ship today and he was happy and excited to see it. But he still wants to drive past the pier to see "Daddy's boat"...he's not quite there yet! He's recently mastered knowing up and down...and which things are on the ground and which things are in the sky. He's been pointing out that flowers grow down on the ground...and birds fly up in the sky with the moon and stars (he LOVES stars!). We have a small little turtle that projects stars and a moon on the wall and ceiling of his room at night. I've asked him what comes out during the day in the sky and he says...clouds and more, more, more rain! We had a lot of spring rainy days and are just now getting into the rainy season. He's in a coloring stage and colors a lot during the day...I still love to color! He's moved from a fist grip of the crayon to an actual pencil grip. Noah has suddenly decided that his name is two. He used to say his name. It was super clear though and came out No. And he knew he was two. Well now he insists that his name is two...and once his mind is set on something it's impossible to change his mind. I've tried working with him but I think it's a game for him. I've said...what's mommy's name...mommy. what's daddy's name...daddy. Noah, what's your name...two! LOL

Caraline

She recently just turned 7mths old. Zack was able to experience month 3-7 for the first time. Between the both of them he'll still miss on 3 months between birth and 12 months. She is getting ready to crawl. She can go backwards and can get up on her knees. Right now she is digging in her toes, pushing up, and then throwing herself forward. Noah crawled at 7.5mths and I think she'll be right around there too. We'll see. She loves her bink. Noah wasn't super attached to it but Caraline loves hers. She likes to suck on her fingers. I'd rather her not be a thumb sucker because you can't take away the thumb...so she sucks on the bink instead. I am also doing signing with Caraline...right now when I sign to her...her response is a smile. When I ask her if she's hungry and wants to eat...she either does nothing or smiles as a yes. She is going through the separation anxiety thing now...and even cries in the stroller sometimes if she "forgets" that I'm there. This is also happening at night. She will cry for five or so seconds and then stop. If I don't go to her to pat her back then she'll cry again for five seconds. This continues until I go in and let her know that I'm still there. Noah is one of her favorite people. He goofs off just to hear her laugh...and then says..I'm funny! She also likes to hold his hand and they often sit on the couch right before bed holding hands. And I've forgotten to mention that she has hair! You can't really see it though since its bleach blond...yes bleach blond!

Me

I'm happy that the pre-deployment craziness is over. The whole last few weeks before deployment is stressful physically and emotionally. We're both running around trying to accomplish those last few things that need to get done and getting him ready to go. Emotionally it's tough too because your trying to make each day perfect...trying to fit in a few days’ worth of things into one day. And it never goes perfectly! But he's gone now and we're getting into our grove. As I mentioned before he left for a few days a few weeks ago. And even in that short amount of time we were in the groove...and then he came home and we had to adjust again...and then he left again and then we have to adjust yet again! My desktop computer acted up near the beginning of April and I took it to the NEX to be fixed. After a long wait I finally found out that it was going to have to be sent off to HP to get a part. Between the cost of shipping, labor, and parts it just wasn't worth the money. I had him transfer the hard drive data and I got a new laptop, which I'm in love with! My parents arrive on June 3rd and I am looking forward to spending this next week getting ready for that visit. I'm beyond excited to see them...it's been almost a year. I'm very close to my parents and talk to them just about every other day on the phone. They have yet to see Caraline...so has pretty much all of our family except Grandma Betsy and Kristen. Noah talks to both of them on the phone. He'll be in heaven with the both of them here. They both have military ID's and it will be nice for them to have full access to the base. They won't be able to drive here though. With Zack's schedule I haven't had much of any break for the last 6 months. He helps when he can but it's been exhausting. It's almost been like a deployment and now we've just started the real deployment. I'm also looking forward to having some help all day for the next month. It will help me get a bit refreshed to finish this out. Our neighborhood is mostly sea duty families however my next door neighbor is on shore duty. So he's the neighborhood "man" of the house! You know all those things that you need a man to help you with? I tried for quite a while with my pink tool kit to get the hose off of the outside faucet...couldn't budge it. He came over today took the hose off from me and hooked up the new one. While in VA Beach, I would wait until a maintenance man would come and say...oh, by the way could you open this jar for me? Zack always puts the lids on super tight and so he'll leave and then I'm stuck with a jar that I can't open!

I think that just about wraps up what's going on with us. The kids are changing daily and weekly. Noah is changing into a little boy and out of toddler hood...crazy since last summer he looked like a baby. Caraline is growing rapidly as well!