With Zack home on Monday I was able to complete some tasks that had been hanging over my head...figure out some swim lessons for Noah, call again about Baptism for Abel, and dentist appointment for Noah and Caraline. There is one pediatric dentists for thousands of kids on base. You can opt to go to the regular dentist with a much shorter wait list but Noah and Caraline do not behave well enough for that! So I called and got them on the waitlist. They had appointments in January...so hopefully by June-July the will be in. Just in time for the six month mark. I called and their info was looked up and I was told..."Your kids are on the 3mth visit rotation. They are due in April. I'll put you on the waitlist and let you know." Hmm...that 3 month rotation for "high-risk". Let me tell you the story about how that came to be!
No kid likes to go to the dentist. Noah didn't want to go so I take us all there plus one of their friends. It will be Caraline's first visit. I have high hopes...they are all behaving and no meltdowns. Our names are called and we are put in the x-ray room. They are wanting x-rays of Noah's teeth. Great...just great. Noah sits down and they try. He freaks. I try to talk him into it and I fail miserably. Then I bribe him with the gummy snacks I have in the bag and I fail again. The second and third classes in the room are looking at me. And I think, "What do you want me to do? He's three years old!" And so finally they just tell me they'll try next time. Noah is up in arms and seriously thinking about making a break for it. We get out of the room and are taken to the room where they do the cleaning. There is kid sized chair pointed towards a TV playing a movie. Last time Noah hoped right into the chair and all was well. Well not this go around! He refuses to sit in the chair. They have this little cushion that is supported between my legs and the dentist's legs. I have Noah on my lap facing me and I lean him back onto the cushion. Noah is screaming. Caraline and their friend are outside of the room with a handful of third and airman...since the dentist insisted upon closing the door. Abel was handed off to a female as she was itching to hold him...and it was unsafe for him to be strapped to me while Noah was coming unhinged. The dentist asks a few standard questions. Yes, we brush his teeth twice a day. No, he doesn't like milk. No, he doesn't use a sippy cup just a stainless steel canteen bottle. And then it begins. I'm told about how horrible it is for their teeth to be drinking all day long. What does he drink? One cup of juice a day, lemonade or water...or watered down lemonade. *Pursed lips...well it isn't necessarily any better for it to be watered down. The sugar is still in there. By this time I have a half-smile on my face and I'm thinking will you just clean his darn teeth already. And so I tell her...No, he doesn't drink on it all day long. Noah by this time is also thinking will you just get this done and over with. I reassure him and again mention the bribe. Mistake. I then get asked a zillion and one questions about gummy snacks. No, he doesn't eat them all the time. This is the first time I've bought them in 2 months. And it was specifically for this purpose....for this behavior right now. And no she doesn't have children. His teeth are cleaned, counted, and cataloged. He screams the entire time and bites at her finger a few times. He his thankfully done and now it's Caraline's turn. Noah refuses to leave the room and Caraline is brought in. It's a small room...super small room. Noah sits next to my feet. And so Caraline is leaned back. Her first questions was about sucking her thumb or a pacifier. Yes, she has a pacifier. And no she isn't ready to give it up yet. Caraline is screaming...and biting her. Secretly, I think she's got the right idea and I don't say a word. She gets done and Caraline is leaned up. Two of the kids are with me in the cramped room along with two other adults. The door is shut. The dentist is sitting between me and the door. The other two kids are sitting outside the room with a group of people oohing and ahhing over them. And it begins again. You need to get rid of the pacifier. Yes, I know. She isn't ready. We tried and she just sucked her thumb. And then again...well, it is easier now to get rid of the pacifier than to pay for the extensive dental work that her mouth will require because of that pacifier. Me...Yes, I know. She isn't ready. What's better the bink or the thumb? Her...well research shows they are about equal. Me...so yes. She isn't ready. And yes I know about the time and money for dental work. I sucked my thumb as a child and went through years of dental work. So I know already how it is going to go. And I'm thinking okay...let me the hell out of here. I try to stand up and reach for the door knob...and she touches my hand until I drop it and it begins again. I realize I'm not her parent and sometime parents just do what's easy for now. I'm just the dentist you go home and do whatever you want. Me...fake smile slowly fading...and trying not to loose it! But instead I say...I understand. She isn't ready. When she is then we will take it away....and I zone her out. Noah is still upset...Caraline has slowed down to slow sobs...and this darn dentist will not let me out of the room. She has taken me hostage...I'm being held against my will! And then the dentist gives me the zinger....well, from everything I've seen here (looking up at me) your kids qualify for high risk of cavities and I need to see them every three months. Me...well I'm pretty darn livid by now. I see my escape and I round up the four kids and I'm out of there! We're out of there as quick as possible...well it seemed as quick as possible but one woman with 4 kids ranging from nearly 4 to 4 months it admittedly wasn't all that fast! High risk because my kids don't like milk. I bribed them with gummy snacks to not bite her finger off (She should be thankful!) and she didn't believe me that it was the first time they have had gummy snacks in months! She refused to listen to the fact that they eat vegetables, fruits, green smoothies, etc. all day long. And she didn't listen to anything I said about their drinking habits either. And she wouldn't take no for no when I said Caraline wasn't ready. She was 3 months over 2 years. She has a new baby in her family and her Dad just returned from deployment less than a month ago. Let her alone! And while your at it...me too! Oh, I was so mad!
And my friends still bring it up every now and then just to watch me get irate in 1.0 seconds! And so when I called and got the slightly judgy tone from whoever answered the phone about them being on the 3 month rotation and being late for that visit...I was reminded just how mad I was! And so now I wait until their names come up on the list. And should that dentist say anything about them being late for their three month visit...it will not bode well for her. She will get a rehearsed speech about how she misjudged us and me as a mother. And I will not be held hostage in that room ever again. I will smile and tell her that if she's finished with their teeth then I'm finished with this visit. And we will leave. The end...take that Mrs. Dentist!
The Gogel Family
The Family
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
Parenting
It isn't easy parenting. It's a series of choices made each day, hour, minute that impact the future of your precious babes. It also isn't easy to decide how you want to parent...what your style is going to be...the core framework of what your choices are based upon. But it is easier to watch others and decide what you won't do. And of course some of those..."I'm never going to...." go right out the window once you have a child or once your in that particular position.
So here is my particular framework:
I am a mixture "natural, attachment, Montessori, and whatever else" parent. I value my kids eating organic, fresh, and healthy foods. I value them not being exposed to unnecessary medicine, chemicals, toxins, etc. Homemade is best most of the time. I value them feeling safe, secure, and loved. I value their emotions and opinions. They do matter. They are young little people and deserve to be treated with respect and understanding. My babes having empathy for others is super important. Children are naturally self centered...but if I teach them nothing but having empathy that would be okay with me (not ideal but okay!). I value their independence. Go forth and be happy...be independent. I will be here for you...I will come when called...I will love you always...and I will take care of you...but I am not in charge of making you happy. Happiness and being content comes from within. Be independent make your way...make mistakes...learn from them...and grow. But always know that when you need me I will be there...every single time. And Zack he follows my lead and has his own individual style. Things that fly with mom don't always with dad...and visa versa. They have tons of fun playing (creating super large messes) with dad in charge. But that's his style. But it all works for us!
Independence...I highly value it. The kids growing up here they've had the opportunity to be very independent in a pretty safe environment...on and off base. I'm working with Caraline on paying attention to her surroundings...how to cross the street safely, etc. But Noah he knows. I can trust him to go outside our fenced in yard and stay near the house or walk from the car across the grass and find his way to the park. They can run ahead of me and check it out. And they will stop running or walking when told to stop. But in dangerous circumstances I of course reach for their hands and Noah isn't allowed to cross the street without one of us. Although according to him I get a "Mom, I'm big. I know how to cross the street. I look both ways...see I know how! I can do it myself!" Zack is naturally more cautious than I am. And I think some of it is because he spends less time with the kids and isn't quite sure what they can and can't do alone. They surprise him every now and then! Given the opportunity kids can do so much. Grab themselves a snack, pour themselves a drink, clean up after themselves, clean the house...and the list goes on. Noah and Caraline are proud and I can see their happiness at accomplishing something all by themselves. It's important for them to be independent. Why should we do things for the kids that they can do for themselves...things that they get a sense of pride at accomplishing for themselves. And plus it's a bonus for us when they can do those tasks themselves!
So here is my particular framework:
I am a mixture "natural, attachment, Montessori, and whatever else" parent. I value my kids eating organic, fresh, and healthy foods. I value them not being exposed to unnecessary medicine, chemicals, toxins, etc. Homemade is best most of the time. I value them feeling safe, secure, and loved. I value their emotions and opinions. They do matter. They are young little people and deserve to be treated with respect and understanding. My babes having empathy for others is super important. Children are naturally self centered...but if I teach them nothing but having empathy that would be okay with me (not ideal but okay!). I value their independence. Go forth and be happy...be independent. I will be here for you...I will come when called...I will love you always...and I will take care of you...but I am not in charge of making you happy. Happiness and being content comes from within. Be independent make your way...make mistakes...learn from them...and grow. But always know that when you need me I will be there...every single time. And Zack he follows my lead and has his own individual style. Things that fly with mom don't always with dad...and visa versa. They have tons of fun playing (creating super large messes) with dad in charge. But that's his style. But it all works for us!
Independence...I highly value it. The kids growing up here they've had the opportunity to be very independent in a pretty safe environment...on and off base. I'm working with Caraline on paying attention to her surroundings...how to cross the street safely, etc. But Noah he knows. I can trust him to go outside our fenced in yard and stay near the house or walk from the car across the grass and find his way to the park. They can run ahead of me and check it out. And they will stop running or walking when told to stop. But in dangerous circumstances I of course reach for their hands and Noah isn't allowed to cross the street without one of us. Although according to him I get a "Mom, I'm big. I know how to cross the street. I look both ways...see I know how! I can do it myself!" Zack is naturally more cautious than I am. And I think some of it is because he spends less time with the kids and isn't quite sure what they can and can't do alone. They surprise him every now and then! Given the opportunity kids can do so much. Grab themselves a snack, pour themselves a drink, clean up after themselves, clean the house...and the list goes on. Noah and Caraline are proud and I can see their happiness at accomplishing something all by themselves. It's important for them to be independent. Why should we do things for the kids that they can do for themselves...things that they get a sense of pride at accomplishing for themselves. And plus it's a bonus for us when they can do those tasks themselves!
Monday, April 21, 2014
Easter Weekend
Saturday:
It was Zack's duty day so he rose in the morning and was out the door walking to work. I enjoy our simpler life here. Zack -walking to or from work...or the call for a pick up each evening is so nice! I woke Abel from his nap and we headed down to the baseball fields for the annual base Easter egg hunt. We've done it each year we've been here and the kid(s) always enjoy it. We were able to nab parking fairly close to the field and we hustled over. They separate it according to age 0-2, 3-4,5-6, etc. I had Caraline do the hunt in Noah's age group just to make my life easier as they were on two different fields. There were TONS of kids and even more eggs! Each kid had a basket full! Then we headed to the commissary for some supplies...home for lunch...and then back to the festivities again. Twice a year (maybe more?) the base holds a petting zoo. This time it was mice, rabbits, goats, sheep, and super chill dogs. Noah likes animals...as in I don't want to hold anything but I'll touch it and look! Caraline LOVES animals. She even petted some sea slugs the other day at the beach! She moved around petting and talking to all of the animals. It worked out for me that when it was time to go it was the end of the petting zoo and they forced everyone out....tantrum avoided. Then we came home for nap/quiet time. I've been meaning to take the kids to Sbarros for a special supper treat...so we did that too this evening. Noah is at the point now that he can behave himself for the most part in a restaurant. Caraline on the other hand...well...hmm...not so much! She can't sit still...she has things she "needs" to check out...there are people to smile and wave at...! But she did well tonight as there was tons of space for her to get down and walk around. Then it was home for bedtime...ahh bedtime after a long day!
Sunday:
The kids woke up and found their baskets downstairs. I should make a point here that both Noah and Caraline had seen the gifts/baskets for Caraline and Abel. They were in the nursery room...I had meant to keep the door shut! I wouldn't go as far to say that I'm terrible about these secret holiday traditions...but Zack might! Seriously, I can't keep it together! Noah had asked where his basket was (thankfully he didn't look in the closet!) and I quickly told him that the Easter Bunny wasn't done delivering yet. And he bought it...yay! Zack came home a few hours later and the eggs magically appeared in the yard. Last year, Caraline would only pick up the pink or purple eggs. This year she at least wanted to pick up all the eggs! She would sit down her basket and then run around picking up one egg at a time and running back to her basket. Noah on the other hand had it down...running around throwing them into his basket as fast as he could! The kids played and in the afternoon we drove to one of the other housing areas, Ikego, for a magic show. The show was on main base on Saturday but with Zack on duty we decided just to drive up to Ikego to see it. Both kids were amazed! Caraline was clapping and yelling, Yay! Noah sat with his eyes wide open just soaking it in! Then it was home for supper and bedtime.
Monday:
I woke up to learn that one of our family friends, Catherine Brown, had passed away Easter morning in the U.S. She had been in the nursing home for almost exactly a year to which her health had continued to decline. She will be missed but she was ready to go home...and passing away on the glorious day of Easter Sunday was fitting for, Nana. Zack had today off, which was nice since he had duty on Saturday. It was a rainy day. Noah, Abel, and I always are "off " on rainy days. Abel just wants to sleep off and on all day long...and I would like to! Noah on the other hand usually runs a fever or is sick on rainy days. And if he isn't sick then it was days like today where he was moody and just "off"! He had been up for around two hours and had a handful of crying dramatic emotional outbursts. I decided it would be a nice time to make some homemade Play-Doh. So the kids ran and got their respective step stools to see into the mixer. We tripled the recipe and it was just the right amount for the two of them. And I decided to throw in some drops of essential oils to help calm the household down and hopefully help Noah get back on track. And plus it made the house smell great. I made it plain and then snuck into the laundry room to add a touch of tempera paint in a dug out hole of each of the eight balls. Then I covered up the hole and the kids had to work each ball around in their hands to discover the color. Worked great and did have a calming way on Noah. The rest of the day was regular routine with errands, lunch, quiet time, school time, nap, supper, and bedtime...and a handful of more outbursts from Noah. Hoping for sunshine tomorrow...sheesh!
It was Zack's duty day so he rose in the morning and was out the door walking to work. I enjoy our simpler life here. Zack -walking to or from work...or the call for a pick up each evening is so nice! I woke Abel from his nap and we headed down to the baseball fields for the annual base Easter egg hunt. We've done it each year we've been here and the kid(s) always enjoy it. We were able to nab parking fairly close to the field and we hustled over. They separate it according to age 0-2, 3-4,5-6, etc. I had Caraline do the hunt in Noah's age group just to make my life easier as they were on two different fields. There were TONS of kids and even more eggs! Each kid had a basket full! Then we headed to the commissary for some supplies...home for lunch...and then back to the festivities again. Twice a year (maybe more?) the base holds a petting zoo. This time it was mice, rabbits, goats, sheep, and super chill dogs. Noah likes animals...as in I don't want to hold anything but I'll touch it and look! Caraline LOVES animals. She even petted some sea slugs the other day at the beach! She moved around petting and talking to all of the animals. It worked out for me that when it was time to go it was the end of the petting zoo and they forced everyone out....tantrum avoided. Then we came home for nap/quiet time. I've been meaning to take the kids to Sbarros for a special supper treat...so we did that too this evening. Noah is at the point now that he can behave himself for the most part in a restaurant. Caraline on the other hand...well...hmm...not so much! She can't sit still...she has things she "needs" to check out...there are people to smile and wave at...! But she did well tonight as there was tons of space for her to get down and walk around. Then it was home for bedtime...ahh bedtime after a long day!
Sunday:
The kids woke up and found their baskets downstairs. I should make a point here that both Noah and Caraline had seen the gifts/baskets for Caraline and Abel. They were in the nursery room...I had meant to keep the door shut! I wouldn't go as far to say that I'm terrible about these secret holiday traditions...but Zack might! Seriously, I can't keep it together! Noah had asked where his basket was (thankfully he didn't look in the closet!) and I quickly told him that the Easter Bunny wasn't done delivering yet. And he bought it...yay! Zack came home a few hours later and the eggs magically appeared in the yard. Last year, Caraline would only pick up the pink or purple eggs. This year she at least wanted to pick up all the eggs! She would sit down her basket and then run around picking up one egg at a time and running back to her basket. Noah on the other hand had it down...running around throwing them into his basket as fast as he could! The kids played and in the afternoon we drove to one of the other housing areas, Ikego, for a magic show. The show was on main base on Saturday but with Zack on duty we decided just to drive up to Ikego to see it. Both kids were amazed! Caraline was clapping and yelling, Yay! Noah sat with his eyes wide open just soaking it in! Then it was home for supper and bedtime.
Monday:
I woke up to learn that one of our family friends, Catherine Brown, had passed away Easter morning in the U.S. She had been in the nursing home for almost exactly a year to which her health had continued to decline. She will be missed but she was ready to go home...and passing away on the glorious day of Easter Sunday was fitting for, Nana. Zack had today off, which was nice since he had duty on Saturday. It was a rainy day. Noah, Abel, and I always are "off " on rainy days. Abel just wants to sleep off and on all day long...and I would like to! Noah on the other hand usually runs a fever or is sick on rainy days. And if he isn't sick then it was days like today where he was moody and just "off"! He had been up for around two hours and had a handful of crying dramatic emotional outbursts. I decided it would be a nice time to make some homemade Play-Doh. So the kids ran and got their respective step stools to see into the mixer. We tripled the recipe and it was just the right amount for the two of them. And I decided to throw in some drops of essential oils to help calm the household down and hopefully help Noah get back on track. And plus it made the house smell great. I made it plain and then snuck into the laundry room to add a touch of tempera paint in a dug out hole of each of the eight balls. Then I covered up the hole and the kids had to work each ball around in their hands to discover the color. Worked great and did have a calming way on Noah. The rest of the day was regular routine with errands, lunch, quiet time, school time, nap, supper, and bedtime...and a handful of more outbursts from Noah. Hoping for sunshine tomorrow...sheesh!
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