With Zack home on Monday I was able to complete some tasks that had been hanging over my head...figure out some swim lessons for Noah, call again about Baptism for Abel, and dentist appointment for Noah and Caraline. There is one pediatric dentists for thousands of kids on base. You can opt to go to the regular dentist with a much shorter wait list but Noah and Caraline do not behave well enough for that! So I called and got them on the waitlist. They had appointments in January...so hopefully by June-July the will be in. Just in time for the six month mark. I called and their info was looked up and I was told..."Your kids are on the 3mth visit rotation. They are due in April. I'll put you on the waitlist and let you know." Hmm...that 3 month rotation for "high-risk". Let me tell you the story about how that came to be!
No kid likes to go to the dentist. Noah didn't want to go so I take us all there plus one of their friends. It will be Caraline's first visit. I have high hopes...they are all behaving and no meltdowns. Our names are called and we are put in the x-ray room. They are wanting x-rays of Noah's teeth. Great...just great. Noah sits down and they try. He freaks. I try to talk him into it and I fail miserably. Then I bribe him with the gummy snacks I have in the bag and I fail again. The second and third classes in the room are looking at me. And I think, "What do you want me to do? He's three years old!" And so finally they just tell me they'll try next time. Noah is up in arms and seriously thinking about making a break for it. We get out of the room and are taken to the room where they do the cleaning. There is kid sized chair pointed towards a TV playing a movie. Last time Noah hoped right into the chair and all was well. Well not this go around! He refuses to sit in the chair. They have this little cushion that is supported between my legs and the dentist's legs. I have Noah on my lap facing me and I lean him back onto the cushion. Noah is screaming. Caraline and their friend are outside of the room with a handful of third and airman...since the dentist insisted upon closing the door. Abel was handed off to a female as she was itching to hold him...and it was unsafe for him to be strapped to me while Noah was coming unhinged. The dentist asks a few standard questions. Yes, we brush his teeth twice a day. No, he doesn't like milk. No, he doesn't use a sippy cup just a stainless steel canteen bottle. And then it begins. I'm told about how horrible it is for their teeth to be drinking all day long. What does he drink? One cup of juice a day, lemonade or water...or watered down lemonade. *Pursed lips...well it isn't necessarily any better for it to be watered down. The sugar is still in there. By this time I have a half-smile on my face and I'm thinking will you just clean his darn teeth already. And so I tell her...No, he doesn't drink on it all day long. Noah by this time is also thinking will you just get this done and over with. I reassure him and again mention the bribe. Mistake. I then get asked a zillion and one questions about gummy snacks. No, he doesn't eat them all the time. This is the first time I've bought them in 2 months. And it was specifically for this purpose....for this behavior right now. And no she doesn't have children. His teeth are cleaned, counted, and cataloged. He screams the entire time and bites at her finger a few times. He his thankfully done and now it's Caraline's turn. Noah refuses to leave the room and Caraline is brought in. It's a small room...super small room. Noah sits next to my feet. And so Caraline is leaned back. Her first questions was about sucking her thumb or a pacifier. Yes, she has a pacifier. And no she isn't ready to give it up yet. Caraline is screaming...and biting her. Secretly, I think she's got the right idea and I don't say a word. She gets done and Caraline is leaned up. Two of the kids are with me in the cramped room along with two other adults. The door is shut. The dentist is sitting between me and the door. The other two kids are sitting outside the room with a group of people oohing and ahhing over them. And it begins again. You need to get rid of the pacifier. Yes, I know. She isn't ready. We tried and she just sucked her thumb. And then again...well, it is easier now to get rid of the pacifier than to pay for the extensive dental work that her mouth will require because of that pacifier. Me...Yes, I know. She isn't ready. What's better the bink or the thumb? Her...well research shows they are about equal. Me...so yes. She isn't ready. And yes I know about the time and money for dental work. I sucked my thumb as a child and went through years of dental work. So I know already how it is going to go. And I'm thinking okay...let me the hell out of here. I try to stand up and reach for the door knob...and she touches my hand until I drop it and it begins again. I realize I'm not her parent and sometime parents just do what's easy for now. I'm just the dentist you go home and do whatever you want. Me...fake smile slowly fading...and trying not to loose it! But instead I say...I understand. She isn't ready. When she is then we will take it away....and I zone her out. Noah is still upset...Caraline has slowed down to slow sobs...and this darn dentist will not let me out of the room. She has taken me hostage...I'm being held against my will! And then the dentist gives me the zinger....well, from everything I've seen here (looking up at me) your kids qualify for high risk of cavities and I need to see them every three months. Me...well I'm pretty darn livid by now. I see my escape and I round up the four kids and I'm out of there! We're out of there as quick as possible...well it seemed as quick as possible but one woman with 4 kids ranging from nearly 4 to 4 months it admittedly wasn't all that fast! High risk because my kids don't like milk. I bribed them with gummy snacks to not bite her finger off (She should be thankful!) and she didn't believe me that it was the first time they have had gummy snacks in months! She refused to listen to the fact that they eat vegetables, fruits, green smoothies, etc. all day long. And she didn't listen to anything I said about their drinking habits either. And she wouldn't take no for no when I said Caraline wasn't ready. She was 3 months over 2 years. She has a new baby in her family and her Dad just returned from deployment less than a month ago. Let her alone! And while your at it...me too! Oh, I was so mad!
And my friends still bring it up every now and then just to watch me get irate in 1.0 seconds! And so when I called and got the slightly judgy tone from whoever answered the phone about them being on the 3 month rotation and being late for that visit...I was reminded just how mad I was! And so now I wait until their names come up on the list. And should that dentist say anything about them being late for their three month visit...it will not bode well for her. She will get a rehearsed speech about how she misjudged us and me as a mother. And I will not be held hostage in that room ever again. I will smile and tell her that if she's finished with their teeth then I'm finished with this visit. And we will leave. The end...take that Mrs. Dentist!
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