Family Update

I haven't updated in a while since we've been super busy.  My Dad left us about a month or so ago and my mom around two weeks ago.  It was nice...well amazing to spend some time with them.  Zack was upset that he missed them and wants to hopefully be able to catch them the next time.  The kids especially enjoyed the extra attention and getting to know their Papaw and Grandma.  I enjoyed spending my birthday with them and getting some help with the kids.  It feels nice to show them where we live, how we live, and Japan...to show them how much we've all changed in the past year.  Zack complains that I married him to be my mule...to carry the backpack when we're out in town and wrangle a kid when necessary...well he complains to complain...it's a Gogel man thing!  So I was able to take my parents places that were on my list that would be super difficult to nearly impossible to do by myself.  It's my job when Zack's home to plan our weekend trips and he just goes along for the ride.  My mom had mentioned a few places that she wanted to go and we checked those off of her list.  Dad was up for anything and so he was along for the ride this time.  I am sure that they were able to see why we enjoy it here so much.  And their top comment was about how nice the Japanese were and how they love the American children.

Noah:
Noah is missing his daddy very much.  He doesn't understand everything as to why Zack isn't here.  He knows and says quite often that Daddy loves us and so he's making us "monies".  I've bought three kids for Noah in the past almost two months for those Daddy moments he has.  I can tell he's having a rough day and I can pull out a gift telling him that Daddy sent him a present in the mail.  In his sweet little voice he says, Oh Mommy, I love Daddy and miss him.  Then he throws his arms around my neck and tells me thank you for Daddy making us "monies".  We used to take Zack to work occasionally so Noah calls that route from our house, Daddy's way.  Just about every time we drive past the pier Noah tells me about Daddy's boat and how it's out in the water.  And I tell him every time that Daddy is at work on the boat.  He tells me about Zack making us "monies".  And I in return am sure to tell him that Daddy is working to make us "monies" so that mommy can stay at home and play with him...that Daddy loves us very much.  I am sure next go around with this he'll understand more and I won't be able to just pull a present out of thin air and tell him it's from Daddy.  We're going to have to be a little bit more prepared and have Zack prebuy the gifts and wrap them for him.  But for now it works!  His favorite times of the day are during quiet time and bedtime where he can crawl into his bed and play.  He has about six regular sized pillows and about 5 kid sized blankets in his bed.  There are also many new stuffed animals and toys in his bed as well.  He just likes to cuddle up in all the pillows and blankets...and play.

Caraline:
She is growing like crazy!  She is crawling now...well it's a mixture of half crawling and half bear crawling.  She really doesn't like to crawl on the hard floor but she gets around pretty quickly.  She can pull up onto her knees but not to her feet yet.  I think she could physically do it but she's too timid.  She will stand along the couch if I help her to her feet and play with toys on the couch.  But she gets scared and starts to cry.  She knows if she lets go she will fall and gets upset when she wants to sit.  Noah crawled and pulled up at 7.5mths and he just took off after that.  Caraline is more reserved and just likes to watch Noah.  She studies him and isn't it much of a hurry to join him in his craziness.  She enjoys it when he comes over and sits next to her.  He acts goofy and makes her laugh...and then they both laugh!

Me:
I like to think about sea duty as a banking account.  The time together puts deposits into the account and the time apart are withdrawals.  We squeezed in every ounce of family time when he's home to fill that account with deposits.  Then when he's away every day there are withdrawals taken out...and some days there is more withdrawals than others!  If you don't make enough deposits then your balance starts to go negative and the family unit starts to erode.  I've mentioned it before that Zack has had a crazy work schedule since January.  The Navy(Really the G.W.) made it very difficult to add those deposits to our account...we worked hard for each of those deposits(as did most of the families).  And now each day each one of us makes a withdrawal from that account.  Zack will be home soon(for a bit).  The ship will be going through an inspection from Big Navy and so therefore he will once again be working extended hours with more duty days than the usual in port norm.  We will once again have to fight for each of the deposits.  But it's the name of the game.  We've worked hard over the winter and spring to fill our account and we'll make it to the end with plenty still left in our account.  Deployments strengthen our relationship.  And after the crazy schedules and working nights we honestly needed a deployment.  I know that many of you will think I'm crazy but it's the truth.  We needed the deployment to draw us close again.  It's ironic that while in port the ship here will do almost everything in its power to pull you away from your family...but for us a deployment pulls us together again.  The expectations are much much higher when they are in port and the higher the expectations the greater the chance of them being dashed.  It was very normal for the ship to call Zack and tell him he on what was supposed to be a full day off that he was suddenly working nights that very same day.  Expect the unexpected.  While he's away the expectations are less.  We each handle our every day stresses alone and rely on the other for strength, support, understanding, and just love.  We don't argue, fight, nag, annoy each other, or play games.  Well okay I admit to sending one very annoyed email to Zack...to which he explained, apologized, and promised to do better.  Then we forgive and move on.  When he needs support or is down then he tells me and I respond.  When I'm having a hard time with something I tell him and he sends me an email with the exact words I needed from him.  And so it's possible for us to make deposits while he's away too.  I don't get love notes or love letters...I get love emails!  We've seen too many relationships end in a burn and crash to let ourselves get anywhere close to falling into a negative balance.  The ship will be going through a COC(Change of Command) and so I do have expectations that just maybe this CO(Commanding Officer) will make some changes.  Just maybe next winter and spring we won't have to work so hard to make those deposits....just maybe!  But I have to expect the unexpected!