Caraline has taught me a lot about being a mother. She's changed me as a mother. Firstly, she's taught me about being a mother to a daughter. It was a whole new world after raising son! She clops around the house in her plastic high heels wearing a dress along with a tutu...play jewelry around her neck and wrists...all while toting around "Baby" and her baby's things. And then I turn around and she's outside getting wet and dirty...and when she's done she takes off her high heels and hands me her shoes and tutu telling me her princess clothes are dirty and need washed. She's my kind of girl...a princess that doesn't mind to get dirty!
She is stubborn. We've recently had a meeting of the minds that has left her knowing that just maybe there is another way other than her way. And I think sometimes I mistake her independence for stubbornness. And so she is both. Up until the last few months she wasn't in need for reassurances. I'm not sure why the change...maybe Abel's birth but now she needs and seeks out those hugs and kisses throughout the day. She is also sensitive. She has sensitive feelings...she is a lady with delicate feelings. Poor Zackary is learning this along the way too! He's learning that it isn't necessarily what he says but the way he says it...and sometimes it is what he says! A harsh tone and she's in tears crying. But she is also sensitive to the feelings of others around her...she has the power to know what to do or say to calm Noah...and the power to push him over the edge and stand nearby to watch how he melts down! That's Caraline! And maybe with those feelings she is able to see in others...she sees that sometimes her momma needs those hugs and kisses too throughout the day. Not many things calm and center me like her little arms around my neck...and she likes to rub my back with one hand while she's hanging on tight.
I've mentioned the meeting of the minds above...let me explain. Caraline has recently gone into a picky eating stage. She's in the full throws of that toddler picky stage. Thankfully she still loves those food pouches! Our little delicate lady can't really afford not to eat! So Caraline won't eat much at supper time. Then before bedtime I call last call for snacks. She eats a snack and off to bed. Except she doesn't go to sleep right away. She still needs and enjoys naps...3 hour naps! And I don't mind at all because I need naps too. But with those naps it means that she isn't ready to go to sleep when it's bedtime. And so she plays. About two hours after they've been taken upstairs she cries about being hungry. And so then she is taken downstairs to eat her actual supper. I refuse to make her go to sleep while she is hungry. The idea that if she would just eat at supper time then she wouldn't be hungry is not lost on me. Zack and I were aggravated with this behavior. Seriously...Caraline just eat your supper! After a long day of taking care of the kids I need that downtime in the evening. But my thinking has changed...and therefore so has Zack's. She needs the 20 minutes of time sitting next to me on the couch each evening after her siblings have fallen asleep. She quietly sits and eats her supper sitting nearly on top of me on the couch. A few reminders along the way to actually eat instead of watching TV...and then it's teeth brushing (again) and she's carried back upstairs. She asks to peak up at Noah on the top bunk...and then she's put in her bed. And she usually is asleep within a few minutes. One night last week I was really frustrated with her behavior and she knew it. She put her arms around my neck and said, "Momma, I love you." I melted and felt so sad and sorry for getting irritated with her. I suddenly realized that she needs this time. For whatever reason she enjoys taking 3 hour naps...to go to sleep 2 hours after Noah....she likes to eat her supper 3 hours after Noah and right before falling asleep. And eat that supper while sitting on the couch next to her momma. I don't understand and won't pretend to understand what goes on with that little lady. And so for now I will keep reminding myself that this is what she needs and enjoy sitting with her each evening while she eats her supper.
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