I'm sitting here an hour after bedtime in a peaceful house. Actually it was peaceful 30 minutes ago and that hasn't happened in a long time. I suppose it was since February, when Noah started school. When he started school our bedtime routine went out the window. He came home exhausted. Just having him take a bath...or walk upstairs to his pajamas was a battle. And so I decided it wasn't worth it. We'd do baths in the morning. There that solved that problem. But it created another problem...neither Noah or Caraline would wind down enough to go to sleep. They both have had baths before bed since birth and I took away the major cue that said, "Bedtime ahead!" And chaos was left in his place.
I follow quite a few natural, attachment parenting, and baby wearing mommas on Facebook. And a few weeks ago one of them posted a little post about how the way we discipline as a parent is rooted in the way we are as a person. And trust me it was more eloquently put than that...but that's the gist! And I thought about my disciple struggles with Noah since he started school. I can totally empathize with him. It is hard to be good at school...and he's golden good at school. He's learning, and growing, and his thinking is expanding. He is working hard. And I know it. And I remember going through the same thing as a child when I started first grade. However, it doesn't give him an excuse for his poor behavior. And I realized that honestly most of our issues come down to power struggles...struggles that I can't loose. I have to win. I have to win at all costs. And I've been like that since a child...(yes, my poor mother!). I have to win the argument...I have to have the last word. And Noah thinks he does too. So imagine this power struggle between mother and son. And I also knew that most of his outburst were because he was either scared or frustrated. And so the scared is treated with a hug and questions...and the frustration...well I'm trying to not add to that problem!
And so bedtime. It was a huge power struggle. I needed Noah and Caraline to go to sleep...so then I could put an already fussing Abel to sleep. Except Noah and Caraline wouldn't go to sleep. They screamed, yelled, bounced, jumped, and all sorts of other things. And then Abel was screaming for his bedtime. And it was absolutely pure craziness...I was frazzled...the kids were out of control...and it resulted in a lot of screaming, yelling, tears, and pleas! And so Zack and I decided to extend bedtime an hour. It was a painful decision! :) Seriously rough thinking about having that extra hour...but it wasn't an extra hour. It was an hour less that I had to run around each evening just trying to get everyone to be quiet and go to sleep. And so the extra hour worked a bit...but we had some residual issues going on. I was going into their room way too many times...acknowledging their craziness. I knew it...but I didn't have much of a choice. And so we still had some struggles. And so with some help of some Facebook friends...tonight we went to bed in peace. All three kids asleep peacefully in their beds within 30 minutes...when just days before it was 2 hours later. I revamped the last 30 minutes of waking time. 15 minutes is spent playing a "night time game"...Noah's words! And so tonight it was Operation. Then it was lavender essential oil behind their ears. And lastly it was being brushed. For those not aware this is using a fingernail/hand sponge/bristle brushed used by medical professionals before surgery. For those mommas out there, they use the brush for baby's first bath. I've rinsed out the sterilization soap very thoroughly. The kids lay down with their head on a pillow...and I brush their backs and limbs. It's very soothing and centering for my babes. And then it was off to bed. Ahh! Peaceful bedtime!
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